vel's journaly thing

I've added to my profile to reflect this uber-sucky year. Rest in peace Oma and Sierra.

...and my nose is stuffed and my chest hurts because I've just been lying in bed crying instead of sleeping. In the morning we're going to pick up our new puppy, and I think it's just now hit me how much I truly miss Sierra. I never knew how attached I was to her. It explains a lot about how I've been acting lately...I don't have much interest in the puppies when we go to see them, I don't really care which one we choose, and I don't like any of the names we've been coming up with. I really don't want a new dog, I'm just not ready for that. No dog could ever in a million years come close to being as great as Sierra was. But my dad wants another dog and I guess Yukon needs a friend. I don't want a new dog. I just want Sierra back. And since that can't be, I simply don't want another dog at all. Yet I'm going to be the one stuck with the new puppy most of the time. I don't want that responsibility, but I don't have much of a choice; everyone else is gone all day while I sit here at home thanks to my excessive amount of night classes. Sigh...I want my dog back.

So tonight we went to look at some labrador puppies, and it looks like we'll be getting one of the females. There are nine puppies total, 6 females and 3 males, all of them light yellow (my dad's favorite lab color). They're all very good looking and friendly with very nice parents, so I think any of them will make a good pet. Right now they're four weeks old, so we'll go get one at about 8 weeks. We're third on the list for females, so we'll choose one of them from the four females left after the first two people pick theirs.

I kind of have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I still miss Sierra terribly, and I don't know how ready I am for a new dog. Puppies are certainly cute and sweet and fun, but they also require an enormous amount of work and attention and training. Most of that will be left up to me since I'll be at home a lot due to my night classes, plus I'm the resident "animal expert" and trainer.

Anyway...we're trying to come up with appropriate names for a yellow female lab. Two that I like a lot so far are Willow and Summer. Feel free to leave suggestions :)

Sierra's been at the vet since Monday when she had exploratory surgery and a bunch of tests to find what was wrong with her. The test results came back today, and it's not good. She's been diagnosed with canine lymphoma, a type of cancer. She hasn't eaten in about a week and a half, so she's staying at the vet and getting intravenous fluids. I wish she would at least make it to her 10th birthday on August 10th, but at this rate I don't know how long she'll last. There are a couple of treatments we could try, either cortisol injections or chemotherapy, but considering the cancer has already spread throughout her entire digestive tract, who knows if that would even be worth it or kind to her at this point. I haven't seen her since Sunday...I miss her already. Yukon's miserable too, he just whines and howls all the time. They've never been apart since we got him when he was about 8 weeks old. I don't know what we'll do without her...

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/orca.php

in other news, Sierra (our female labrador) is sick. she's been vomiting and she hasn't eaten in over a week. the vet can't figure out what's wrong with her since her x-rays and blood work look normal. she's been getting pills that taste horrible and are supposed to help soothe her intestinal lining, but they seem to make her feel much worse. she still acted happy before we took her in the first time, then she got those pills and now she's just depressed all the time. poor doggy :( I wish I could make her feel better.